You Relax, Douchebag

So, I'm at Shaw's yesterday picking up some lunch items, and I'm waiting in the U-scan line (or whatever they call it there), and I'm next, and some guy just jumps up like there's no line. I say to him, "Excuse me, there's a line back here" and he says, "JEEZ I'M SORRY! RELAX!"

And then I started to not relax. Dude, I was so chilled out yesterday. I had a good night's sleep, a decent workday, and I was buying like four things -- two cans of "No Salt Added Shaw's Premium Mixed Vegetables" and two packets of "Myojo Udon Oriental Flavor" -- that was it. It was a gorgeous day, I was picking up sushi for lunch after, and I wasn't in a hurry. And, btw, if you know me, you know that I'm laid back (in person, anyway ... my vitriol is saved for the written word ... and I hate confrontation). There's certainly not a screaming harpie in the back of my voice, taunting you with its claws or something.

And who are you, dude? If you've been to Shaw's between the hours of 12-2 before, you should know damn well that there's a line for the U-Scan machines. And if not, well, do you think the burgeoning line behind them is just people admiring your purchases?

Besides, I wasn't pissed off. I just knew that you didn't realize that there was a line behind the machines.

So YOU relax, douchetard.