The Fashion Police

Well, I've had it. I'm officially going insane over bad fashion. To wit:

1. Leggings.

I CAN'T GET OFF LEGGINGS, OKAY? Too many people are still wearing the monstrosities. I was in Filene's Basement the other day, browsing racks, when a soft-looking material caught my eye. I touched it. Smooth. Then I lifted it away from the rack to see what it was. IT WAS LEGGINGS! NO! I made an audible "Augh!" noise and backed away, wiping my hand on my skirt. Someone near me chuckled. I went to kitchen goods to find a knife so I could cut off my own hand.

2. Madras shorts.

Guys, who is telling you that these are a good idea? I mean, seriously. Especially the patchwork ones in girly colors.



These make you look like a douche. Especially if you wear them with the popped collar. Don't do that, either. Although there is one guy who looks kind of cute in them. Unless you're him, fold it down.

3. Long Shirts.

Is this a dress, I wonder? Cute! Then I try it on and it barely covers my ass. Oh wait, guess that one is a shirt. Listen, I'm really short-torso-ed. Can we get T-shirts back to a normal length so that they're not halfway down my fucking thighs? I can't buy shirts like that, damnit. They get bunched up over the skirts that are resting below my hips. They are too damn long!

That's all I have for now, although the tourist fodder on Huntington waiting for the Duck Tours was enough to make my eyes bleed. Seriously, I'm sure they're comfortable, but you people have got to stop wearing Crocs, man. Immediately.