Shut Your F*cking Golf Umbrella
You, sir, are an asshole.
You know who you are. You're the guy in the suit with his expensive shoes, and you're walking down a narrow Boston street with your big freaking golf umbrella, and I hate you. I have on a skirt, my legs are wet, but I'm not complaining. I've got my normal sized umbrella and it's keeping me dry from the waist up, at least. Plus I can navigate the streets normally.
If you're so damn important that you need to stay dry, maybe you should invest in a raincoat and some galoshes, OR JUST TAKE A CAB. When you're forcing people to jump off the curb into a puddle to get by you, YOUR UMBRELLA IS TOO BIG. You know who should be holding a golf umbrella? A golfer. Or my grandma. Little old ladies get a free pass on giant umbrellas because you know, I don't really want to see them get wet.
The rest of you? Carry normal-sized umbrellas.
This has been a public service announcement from Bostonia Rantida. The more you know! And .... star!